Jenny, you CRAZY!

Yesterday Oprah had Jenny McCarthy on. I'm not a huge Oprah fan because often times she is on this whole other level that I just don't quite get, and others times I just like the news stories she presents.

Well yesterday was a WTF moment for me. Jenny McCarthy was on to talk about her break up with Jim Carey. For me her ideals of what goes on in a relationship is F*ed up and no wonder she is almost 40 and not married or in a committed relationship and no wonder it didn't work out. 

Oprah asked her "when did you know it was over?" her response, when it wasn't fun anymore...News flash my dear, life isn't always fun! In fact many times it freaking sucks and I want to throw in the towel too, but my love for my husband means more to me than anything and you have to work through the difficult times. Then she goes on to say that you can "honor the lessons learned and the timing of knowing that a relationship is over instead of staying in a relationship that doesn't work for 30+ years like a lot our parents did". I just think that was a bogus statement and I'll leave it as that. 

Another things Oprah asked was "Did you think you were going to go the distance with him" her response was, that she may have on a subconscious level known that they wouldn't work because she never sold her house when they moved in together. Once I again I want to hit her and say, HOW DO YOU EXPECT IT TO BE FOREVER IF YOU DON'T GIVE ALL OF YOURSELF TO SOMEONE??? I mean seriously, if you have the ability to easily walk away then you probably won't work hard to make it work. I don't know what the exact statistic is but they say that those couples who live together before an engagement often times don't work out because although you make act like you're in a committed relationship, they still feel like they can leave. I also know that there is an absurd statistic that says those couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate and it was correlated with the fact that they never quite get past that whole feeling as though they could leave at any moment. In fact I was talking to a co-worker about this issue the other day, when I asked after she had been married, if it felt any different from before since they had lived together. She said the only difference was that they both kind of brought up issues they had more since they both knew that this was forever. I thought this was great insight because that's what couples need to go the distance!

But then Oprah goes on to say that it was great advice to keep your stuff, your bank accounts, and make your own money...this just further reiterates my point... NO WONDER THEY ARE STILL SINGLE!

Now I have to say, there is NOTHING wrong with being single. 

Next she asks "did you think this was the love of your life?" her response was that she learned that she doesn't have to have a lover to have love in her life...which I agree with, but then she says she thinks she is the love of her life...WTF...another example of just being on a totally different playing field than me because that sounds bogus as well!

And Lastly Jenny says that the line that Tom Cruise had said in some movie "you complete me" was a complete fallacy. I once again don't agree. Adam completes me in many ways. I'm not perfect and I have a lot of growing to do, which he helps me to achieve. He is my rock and my companion and my life partner and together we are completed because we compliment each other very well, we both help each other grow and become better people. I just don't feel like you can rely on yourself for everything. At some point you have to lean on someone else, not necessarily completely but at the very least a little!

One thing that I did like, was that in her grieving she was all about learning the lessons from her relationship. I think that is a very good point because in every experience you have you learn something, especially when it comes to relationships. I may not have this long list of ex's ::thankgoodness: but I learned a lot about what I wanted and who I wanted to be myself. 

But anyways more power to miss Jenny McCarthy, for becoming a stronger individual after her breakup, of which she seemed to have done in a very healthy way but your views on this stuff are crazy and I don't agree with you on this one my dear!

Bye Bye Gary

I'm a car girl at heart. I love cars and even more so trucks! I'm no car expert or anything but they are so cool, every year my dad and I go to the car show down at the convention center and I honestly enjoy myself. Looking at all the new models, and how they've changed different features from year to year. I just get such a kick out of it. It's a fun hobby to try learn about the different cars.

For me in my immature state of being 20 years old the kind of car a guy drove played a big part in his appeal to me(immature and stupid right?). And if they drove a Ford, I was completely turned off and I paid no attention. (I hate Ford vehicles! I'm a Chevy girl and you can't like both!) So in looking for Mr. Right, they totally would gain points if they drove a cool car, especially a truck.  When Adam and I first met, he drove a company vehicle and I didn't know what kind of vehicle was his personal vehicle. But on his last day he drove his truck(it was a GMC ::jackpot!::). I was immediately in love. Plus Adam just looked so darn Hot driving it :)

The reason I'm "saying" all of this is because last thursday we had to get rid of his beloved truck. Adam had purchased this truck back in 2000, it was his first big purchase and was a great second truck for him. All that ever went wrong with it, was 2 alternators and a fuel pump(that was extremely expensive right before the wedding!) So all and all it was an Awesome truck! I affectionately named the truck Gary a few years back because I felt Gary was a good strong name, solid, just like his truck.
Shortly after getting married Adam was wanting a new truck. He wanted a diesel, I said I was cool with it so long as it wasn't a Ford! lol. We decided to use our first time homebuyers credit towards a new truck. However shortly after we got married I decided to go back to school and our income was severely cut almost in half and we realized we couldn't afford a car payment. So it was just an exasperating search for Adam that he did almost every night, but he couldn't find one for under $17,000 and we just couldn't afford that. But Gary was increasingly becoming more of a challenge to drive and I honestly didn't feel safe driving it, I felt like it was going to fall apart every time I stepped on the gas. But I still enjoyed it, (other than in the 90+ degree heat because the AC was broke!!)
Two weeks ago one of Adam's good friends let him know that his company was selling a 1998 Dodge Diesel Dually and if we "traded" our truck in, it was within our price range! So we drove down to Vincennes 2 weekends ago to look at the truck and let Will look at our truck and lets face it, I immediately fell in love! It was a beauty! The only problem was there was a small leak somewhere, so we told Will if he fixed the leak he had a deal, he agreed and I began to stress.
I knew that getting rid of Adam's truck was a must because on our way from Vincennes that weekend,  Gary hit the coveted 170,000 mile mark...

and I just knew that with all the work we would have to put into Gary in order for me to feel comfortable Adam driving one more winter with him, it was just not feasible (He needed new Wheel bearings, shocks, a new windshield, new side mirrors, new AC, and the 4 wheel drive was broke...all in all it would be about 3-4 thousand ::gulp::). And not to mention the transmission would probably go out any day with 170,000 miles. So I knew it was important and much needed for Adam to get a new truck and how could we pass up such a deal, from someone we knew and trusted???

So apparently LONG story short, last Thursday Will came up to Indy and Adam and Will traded vehicles. This was a very emotional day for me. I cried a few times (pathetic I know). but for me Gary represented Adam and I. We fell in love in that truck. He picked me up on our first dates in that truck, our first kiss was in that truck and it represented an easier and fun time. Every time I got into Gary it brought back all those first fun moments and the butterflies when Adam first held my hand, and first kissed me goodnight or goodbye after an amazing weekend together. So needless to say my annoying sentimental part of me was really sad to let Gary go. I still to this day don't love the fact that we had to get rid of him.  Gary I miss you very much!

So we added a new really awesome truck to our family...it's loud, and it's HUGE but I love it! It so much fun to drive and keeping it in the lines on the road is a challenge but I now feel comfortable with Adam driving to and from work knowing he will make it home safe. Plus we can actually haul things again and help people move, and we no longer have to depend on my dad's truck for some things. Moving up in the world

So here is the new truck...name to come. Bye Bye Gary I miss you

Maternity is Over

So my beloved maternity clinical is officially over. And by no surprise I'm rather disappointed. Many people may be surprised or even hard to understand how someone can go from Construction to Nursing. Well folks for this girl it was all about babies! I have long wanted to be a mother and I love babies! Becoming a mom and having children is the only thing I ever wanted in my life. I love all children. If you ever need a babysitter I will do my darndest to help you out, most often for free just because I just want to spend time with kids. They facinate me, and I love looking at the world through a child's innocence.
So in deciding to go back to nursing school, I was looking forward to the Maternity rotation the most. And I have to say it didn't disapoint. I got to experience things that will stick with me for the rest of my life. While the didactic part of it didn't turn out that well (on average I was having to read 370 pgs each week with no instruction or lecture from a teacher..no wonder I didn't do all that well), but overall I have to say it has been the most facinating class I've taken. I'm honestly sad it's over :(
I had the most amazing intructor who was just simply wonderful and a wealth of knowledge. I'm so lucky to have had her as an instructor. She was awesome and I can't wait for her to finish her master's so she can be a full time professor. She will be AWESOME at it. I also feel blessed to have taken part in so many families as they started their families or added to them.
The only downside this clinical has broughten is it has given Adam and I baby fever REALLY bad. Mind you, he and I have had our baby names picked out since our first date...not joking...so this was a little rough on the homefront. I love my husband dearly but it almost breaks my heart when he says he wants to have a baby and I know my choices in life are the reasons we can't even try for one. I know that in the long run, this choice is for the good of our little family, but it's hard to focus on that, when you see all your friends and family getting to experience the one dream you've always wanted right now. But patience is a virtue and it's all a part of God's plan, so I just need to trust in it. It doesn't mean it doesn't suck for me, it just means I need practice in trusting it! Well Monday brings the Pediatric Clinical and I'm a little nervous about this one. The instructor seems like a drill sargent and that makes me nervous, hopefully she's worse on paper than in person!

Love Like Crazy

Ok so I'm obsessed with this song! I love it. It really helps put things in perspective! 

Love Like Crazy

Lee Brice

They called him crazy when they started out
Said seventeen's too young to know what loves about
They've been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
He bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Yeah that’s crazy

Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy they'll never take off
He sold his one man shop to Microsoft
They paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it
He'll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman,
Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get too old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out
They've been together fifty-eight years now

Ain't that crazy?


Enjoy!

Finally a Vaginal Birth!

So today was by far my favorite day of nursing school! I got to FINALLY see a vaginal delivery! But before I get to that I'll give some background on my day.
So for part of this one class I'm taking we were to go downtown and sit in on the Indiana State Board of Nursing. While this was a LOOOONG process and quite tedious at times, it was interesting to see how schools become accredited and how people can gain or loose their licenses.
After the INSB we had to meet at our campus site for a simulation on preeclampsia and post partum hemorrhage. These were designed to get us more comfortable in dealing with these not so fun parts of L&D. After our simulation, which went well by the way, we headed over to the hospital for another fun day in L&D.
I was put with the same nurse from last week, who was amazing! In fact her husband and I used to work for the same company (back in my construction days). But neither of us still work there. But she was awesome and I honestly think she should be an instructor because she was so nice and so informative it was great having her as my mentor. She helped me give my 1st and 2nd IV push drugs, along with my first in and out catheterization. I have witnessed both of these and practiced in the lab, but this was my first time actually doing either of these.
Our patient was amazing. She was so nice, her family was awesome, and they really made me comfortable in the room. We have to fill out all this BS paper work and some of it is kind of personal questions that I wouldn't want to talk about with anyone, but they made me feel comfortable with it, so it was awesome. But this was the lady's 9th pregnancy and would be her 6th baby. My instructor put me with her because she figured she would deliver quickly. Mrs. Mommy(I will refer to her as this for HIPPA reasons) came in already dilated to 7 cm so we thought it'd be a sure thing, since I still hadn't seen a vag birth. The ruptured her membranes(broke her water) and still 4.5 hrs later had made no progress. I was getting really upset about this because in the mean time 2 of my classmates were able to see vaginal births. I could almost not look at my classmates because I was on the verge of tears. And Mrs. Mommy was so sweet she was trying so hard and she was bound and determined to let me see my first vaginal delivery.
About 6:30 my instructor asked us if we wanted dinner, and I refused. I said "I'm staying put and I will stay after clinical if I have to because I am seeing this baby born!"
At around 7 I was ready and so was Mrs. Mommy to have this baby born. I was willing to pull out al the stops, or at least the ones I could. So I brought in our male classmate because he somehow seems to have the "magic touch" of just being in a room and the lady will dilate and begin pushing. And wouldn't your know it, within 2 minutes of him being in the room Mrs. Mommy started saying it was hurting really badly and wanted us to go get the nurse. After I got the nurse she was getting Mrs. Mommy comfortable and while she was comfortable we were all trying to guess when baby would be born. Mrs. Mommy's oldest daughter had guessed 7:25. Mind you at this point it was 7:05.
So Mrs. Mommy was getting really uncomfortable and was wanting to push, we had to tell her to slow down because we needed the doctor and NICU to be present (baby was a little premature). Once everyone got there Mrs. Mommy pushed for all of about 2 maybe 5 minutes tops and precious baby boy was born @ who would have guessed it...7:25! Way to go older sister!

Watching a baby being born naturally(ok with an epidural) is truly amazing! To begin to see the head come out and then the rest of the body is something I will never forget. Birth truly is one of God's miracles and I can't wait to experience it myself.
So mom and baby are doing great. Baby is one lucky little one to be a part of such a loving and wonderful family. They were so cute they even wanted a picture of me and the baby since they knew it was my first!!! Today is one for the history books for this full time student! I will never forget it!  Thanks for an amazing day! Now it's off to pull an all nighter for my exam tomorrow...Hopefully it goes well!

Post Partum

So yesterday was my second experience in Post Partum. I have to say that I enjoyed it much more yesterday than the time before. I don't know whether it was the patient or what but I enjoyed it much more. I had a patient who was hilarious, nice and very welcoming. My patient before was sort of stand offish which made it hard to learn. But I got more comfortable doing my mom and baby assessments. The mom had named her baby girl one of my favorite names, in fact I debated about naming Kacie it. But for HIPPA reasons I will not share.
Oh and the best part of the day was that mom had an almost 2 yr old son who was the cutest thing! He didn't know a stranger and was adorable! I just wanted to steal him away.
Since I was able to do my mom and baby assessments early I was in the nursery while our instructor was helping other students with their baby assessments and there was a baby just laying in his crib so I asked if I could just hold him, and they let me!!! I affectionately named him "baby zachary" I have no idea what his name was, it wasn't in the computer or on his crib, all they had was baby boy with the last name so I thought he looked like a zachary so I named him that haha! He was precious and it made my uterus hurt. I want a baby so bad I could scream!!!
But while I was enjoying holding my "baby zachary", the only guy in my clinical class was doing an assessment on another baby, and this baby had a dirty diaper so my classmate began to change the wet and dirty diaper. Well baby decided he would continue to poop and pee EVERYWHERE! The child almost needed a bath! Poor guy!(my classmate that is) but he handled it like a champ! His future wife will be so happy he can do that without gagging I'm sure! haha
Well now it's time to study for this stinking exam on friday. I could cry I'm so stressed out but I'm officially about 11 months from being done! WHOO HOO!!!  toodles!

This Ain't Nothing

Ok so for my first music sharing post is a song by Craig Morgan called This Ain't Nothing. Its a song that made me cry the first time I listened to it, and I feel like it really puts things into perspective. I'm a pretty big Craig Morgan fan, his songs are fun and stupid and some just plain hilarious. Adam hates when I play some of his songs because they are just plain ridiculous but I have fun with it. So anyways, here are the lyrics to:


 This Ain't Nothing


 He was standing in the rubble of an old farmhouse outside Birmingham
When some on the scene reporter stuck a camera in the face of that old man
He said "tell the folks please mister, what are you gonna do
Now that this twister has taken all that's dear to you"
The old man just smiled and said "boy let me tell you something, this ain't nothing"

He said I lost my daddy, when I was eight years old,
That cave-in at the Kincaid mine left a big old hole,
And I lost my baby brother, my best friend and my left hand
In a no win situation in a place called Vietnam
And last year I watched my loving wife, of fifty years waste away and die
And I held her hand til her heart of gold stopped pumping,
So this ain't nothin'

He said I learned at an early age,
There's things that matter and there's things that don't
So if you're waiting here for me to cry,
I hate to disappoint you boy, but I won't
Then he reached down in the rubble and picked up a photograph
Wiped the dirt off of it with the hand that he still had
He put it to his lips and said man she was something
But this ain't nothin'

He said I lost my daddy, when I was eight years old,
That cave-in at the Kincaid mine left a big old hole,
And I lost my baby brother, my best friend and my left hand
In a no win situation in a place called Vietnam
And last year I watched my loving wife, of fifty years waste away and die
We were holding hands when her heart of gold stopped pumping
So this ain't nothin'

This ain't nothin' time won't erase
And this ain't nothin' money can't replace
He said you sit and watch your loving wife fifty years fighting for her life
Then you hold her hand til her heart of gold stops pumping
Yeah boy that's something,
So this ain't nothin'
No this ain't nothin'

Also here's a link to the video that had me balling!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSdItuvBxc8

Music

I am a what you could say a little obsessed with music. Really all types of music. I actually thought of becoming a music producer when I was younger but wasn't interested in moving to NY, LA or Nashville.
The thing I love most about music is that it often times can put into words very eloquently what you are feeling at a particular moment.
I am someone who likes pretty much all types of music. My favorite would have to be Rock music though, the kind that you have to bang your head and just makes you want to jump up and down and yell. For me its therapeutic. I also am a BIG fan of country music. I know it's a big jump between the two but country music is so innocent and I love being able to escape to an innocent place for 3-4 minutes.
I am not a fan of rap music or today's pop music to me it's too promiscuous and just plain dumb. There are a few songs that I like but overall I think it just shows what a crap show our society is. It glorifies everything I dislike about our society and I really can't support it. But mostly for me it's because half the time their lyrics are just STUPID! They repeat the same crap over and over.  These pop stars are just annoying to me. But occasionally there is a song or two I like just because of the beat and it's fun to dance to and act stupid.
I know you might be thinking well rock stars aren't that innocent and they are rather promiscuous too, but the fact for me is that I for some reason am more accepting of it. Perhaps because I grew up with it, I don't really know. But Rock music like resonates in my bones, and can always bring me back to a time when my life was easier and more fun. So whether my reasons are valid or not, I still love it, and just because I listen to it doesn't mean I agree with the lyrics or their lifestyle, I just like the beat and mostly think it's funny.
But either way music is a HUGE part of my life and I can honestly say it's one thing I would really struggle doing with out. I remember as a child being asked "would you rather be deaf or blind" I would always say blind because I would be lost without music. When I was younger and perhaps even now, I annoy people with how much I listen to music.
So anyways I'm going to start sharing songs that have special meaning to me or just simply make me smile or ones that I think send a good message. Thats all for now!

Circumcision

So I witnessed my first circumcision today. Boys are sooo unlucky in their first few days of life. I felt so bad for the little guy. It was almost like a medieval torture device. However the medical person in me found it a rather interesting procedure and I learned a lot. I am also quite glad they do that on babies who won't remember it, because to do that to a grown adult would be PAINFUL!!!!!

I always thought boys had it so easy by comparison to us girls, so I guess the boys have to go through that 20 min of torture when they are so young and can't remember while we girls can have 3-5 days of pure agony each month for about 30 years. seems fair right?? Sometimes I really hate being a girl!
I used to think boys had it so much easier, I always wished I could have been a boy! I mean they can pee standing up, they don't have periods...I could go on. But as I've gotten older I've realized all the benefits of being a girl. Yes our monthly period is a huge pain in my butt and no longer having one is about the only thing I'm looking forward to as I age, but boys don't get to grow a human in them and  know that you're the lifeline for this tiny precious miracle and then you can breast feed and have this indescribable bond between you and baby (of course this is all what I've been told since I haven't experienced it yet...someday...someday...). However to quote Father of the Bride Pt II..."to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon" doesn't seem like much fun to me, I now think that girls may have the better end of deal! Either way today was a lot of fun. I did my first assessment on Mom and Baby and I think I may actually get to do a care plan on it!!! YES more work!
Tomorrow I have my second full day of Labor and Delivery and I PRAY that I get to see a vaginal birth (natural would be preferred). I'm looking quite forward to it as well as "coffee" with a good friend!! YAY

Talk about Labor Day

So this was probably the most not fun Labor day weekend EVER. I worked all weekend and also Labor Day. It was my holiday and the only good thing is that I won't have to work another holiday until 4th of July next year. I have to say New Years/Labor Day is my favorite holiday rotation.
So this weekend was extremely EXHAUSTING! I don't know what the deal is but the patient load on my floor is insane, they are all just really really sick. As my dad points out, "well they wouldn't be in the hospital if they weren't". While this is true, the difference is that most of the time you have 1-2 patient (out of 5) that are really sick and the others are either stable, or getting ready to go home. I swear ALL my patients were just really ill. Now I don't mind helping them to get better, it's just exhausting. I swear my legs are still throbbing today from this weekend!
The worst part was that my friend from HS was is in town and I haven't seen her since her wedding in July, and one of my cousins from Chicago was in town visiting and I couldn't really see either of them. I was so exhausted by the end of the day all I wanted was to go to bed. I did end up going to Jenn's parents house after work on Sunday because they were throwing her mom a surprise 50th birthday party. It was fun to see her, I just wish it could have been for longer. I ended up staying A LOT later than I originally anticipated and that only made work harder yesterday but oh well.
This week is going to be a little rough with an Exam on Friday but I just have to keep my eye on the prize. 11 more months and I'm home free! I can't wait!!! :)

The Shark

Ok so earlier this week my mom came over to take the dogs for a walk. Adam was working and had taken my car and his was out of gas and I didn't feel like going to gas station just to drive to mom's house. So she came over here and we took ALL 4 dogs on a walk. What an adventure! Of course we had to leave my Luke behind because he can hardly get to the stop sign before dragging far behind, you'd never know it by who he acts around the house but it's just too hard to take him for a walk so Mom had her Luke, and Bonnaroo and I had Kacie and Sadie. We went about 3.7 miles! :) Yay!
After the walk mom wanted me to help her with her new steam washer thingy. She had bought the bissell Steam window washer thing. It was awesome and really made cleaning windows easy. I borrowed it and cleaned all my windows on the main floor in about 2 hours and there were no streaks! However it apparently broke so she decided to spend a little more money and buy the Shark steam cleaner. I have to say it was way worth spending more money on. Not only was there more steam but you could do so much more with it! I had been wanting to do the 4 doors of our bedroom(we have a balcony off our bedroom) for a while but just couldn't bring myself to bringing out the windex and rags because lets face it thats just a pain. I would bet any amount of money that my windows had never been cleaned before and it would be nearly impossible to clean and not have streaks. So luckily my mom is technology handicapped and she came over so I would help her figure out how to use it. Between the two of us we were able to clean my 4 doors inside and out in about 30 minutes (mind you these are the type of doors with the grids on the outside that don't come off without unscrewing and removing them). SO I give this product 4 stars and highly recommend it to anyone! On top of being a window washer it can also be used as a clothing steamer, and a duster! I want one! Good thing Christmas is around the corner!

NICU

This week for Clinical I got to shadow a nurse in the NICU for half the day. What an amazing experience! Before officially deciding to go back to school for nursing I wanted to be a NICU nurse. I remember my mom saying it would be really hard to watch a baby die. However I took it as the ability to save a baby's life who wasn't quite equipped with everything to sustain life.

The babies were so tiny!!! I just wanted to snuggle them!!! They were sooo freaking cute.
I did find that the hardest part would be dealing with families however. There was one baby who had a really rough start to his life and due to all the tests and equipment he had been hooked up to had developed an oral aversion and wouldn't take a bottle. However Grandma refused to accept this and was basically shoving food into his mouth and pretty much telling the doctors and nurses that "she knew best". It was so frustrating because I wanted to scream, "I'm sorry but are you a doctor? Do you know how to read his test results? Do you deal with this type of problem in multiple babies on a daily basis?" Because of course the answer would be NO! I think at a point parents and grandparents need to trust those who are trying to help because in this instance this grandma was probably doing more harm than good to this poor little angel. The baby will get to the point of being able to take a bottle eventually but forcing it down them until they are ready is not going to help. You have to let premies grow and develop on their time table, NOT YOURS.
But other than that it was a really amazing experience. It was hard to see some parents having to make arrangements for their babies to go to hospice and hard to see babies hooked up to machines but either way, you knew that nurses and doctors were doing all they could to help the babies and parents. I loved it and can honestly say that it is still something I'm quite interested in, Just have to get through the rest of this nursing school thing. Although I must say I could just do my maternity clinical for the rest of school and be quite happy!!!!!