Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Week of May 24th  Happy BIRTH day to Lucas James Varner!!!!

How Far Along? 20 weeks Yay for  HALF WAY!!!

20 weeks :)
Due Date:  October 11th

Total weight gain/loss: as of last friday I was up 13...eek

Maternity Clothes? Pretty much all. They are just more comfortable. I would love to get a few more dresses for the summer though

Stretch Marks? No new ones thank goodness

Sleep?  It hasn't been horrible this week I actually was able to sleep on my stomach a few night :)

Best Moment of this Week?  Hitting the Half way mark!!! COME ON OCTOBER!!! I want to meet my little one!

Movement? YES!!!! I love and cherish every kick! Poor Adam and room mate want to feel it so bad but someone said it will be a few more weeks before they can feel it on the outside :(

Food cravings? nope

Food aversions? nope

Gender? I'm keeping ya guessing! 

Labor Signs?  I think I've been feeling my first contractions.  I know they are just Braxton Hicks and nothing to be worried about. They are just more of an annoyance than anything else 

I really feel HUGE!!!
Belly Button In or Out? Still in thank goodness!

What I miss? not feeling tired all the time. I've been really sad lately too, I think school and everything go on is just getting to me.  

What I am looking forward to: This is sort of two fold. i'm looking forward to my cousins wedding this weekend, but I'm NOT looking forward to being in a bridesmaid dress. Uggg, for the girl who has struggled with her weight her WHOLE life being in a bridesmaid dress doesn't help my fat girl complex. The things we do for the people we love...too bad she wont let me walk down the isle in sweats!

Size of the Baby:

Baby's now the size of a cantaloupe!
Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies respond best to tastes they've already had via amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you'd like your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch

Book Club

Ok so I know I said I would give an update every time my book club reads a book. Well unfortunately Life happened and I forgot. so here is my recap from the last 4 months.

After Dracula for the month of February (we combined December and January due to holidays) we  read The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

I have to say that this was by far my favorite book we've read. It truly is a sweet story and you fall in love with the characters. It's easy to get lost in and also an easy read.  The story is about an young family who go through a very difficult time. However it is told through the eyes of their family dog. I don't even think you have to be an animal lover to love it as much as I did. It's just such a unique story.  There is also going to be a movie next year hopefully. This makes me excited and sort of sad because I want them to do the movie justice and you never know how it will turn out... HIGHLY recommend!!!  

GRADE A+ 10/10

The next book we read was The Vampire Lestat by Ann Rice. I'm ashamed to admit but this is the only book I did not read. My excuses are, 1. I was really busy with school, it was the start of another class, 2. they didn't have it on Audio book. and 3. I just really was tired of reading about vampires. However those 2 people who did read the book seemed to really like it. All I can tell you is that its the second book in the vampire chronicles, also known as the book after Interview with a Vampire. Hopefully one day I will read this book. 

Grade: IDK...

Our next book was Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. I'm a little biased but I am big fan of Emily Giffin. This was Nikki's pick, and I shamefully admit that I  sort of talked her into reading it. I originally read this book back in 2004 when it first came out. I was getting ready to go off to college, the first time around ::gasp was it really that long ago::: and I was walking through Barnes and Noble and thought the cover looked intriguing. So I bought,  Loved it and have read all of her other novels. What I loved about this one was that although you hate one of the characters and you even hate what another one is doing, you love the overall story. There is a sequel to this one called Something Blue, and you end up loving the character you hated. What I like most about Giffin's books are that they are all intertwined somehow. The first two are the only ones directly related but the other 3 have a character or two that is somehow related to the first story. Kinda cool.  Anyways I saw the movie and really enjoyed it as well. Stayed fairly close to the book. Although I have learned to go into movies about books with an open mind because when you think about it, it really is hard to get all the details of the book. either way HIGHLY recommend Both!
Grade: A 8/10

Our book for May, which we met to discuss last night was Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.  I actually listened to this book on audio book back in January as a recommendation from a friend of mine. This friend knows I like to read and with my account through I get a free book each month. ( I love by the way because I am in the car so much, I am able to "read books again" but I always get the unabridged version, bc I learned the hard way that the abridged is like a movie where they cut out a lot of stuff!) Anyways, I have to say that while I wasn't obsessed with the book like some people I truly enjoyed it. It was an eye opening account of what a circus could be like. I think what kept me from LOVING this book was that there were parts that just didn't settle with me morally. I also didn't love the relationship between the two main characters. When I like a book that has to do with a love story I have to love the characters and love them together. But this just wasn't the case for me with this book. But I will say that everyone else loved it and either gave it a 9 or a 10.  I've also seen the movie and actually really liked it. I'm not sure if I liked the movie because I wasn't in love with book or what, but I felt they did the book justice and the story as well. But I recommend BOTH! 
Grade : B+ 7/10

Our book for June is Same Different as Me by Ron Hall. I'm really looking forward to this one because it seems like such a departure for me and our bookclub. I promise to update everyone after that one! :) 
Until then if you enjoy reading I recommend some of these selections so Happy Reading 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Irrational Fears

Becoming a mother is a very challenging time in my opinion. I have been a whirlwind of emotions that range from excitement, to terror, to blissful happiness and true fear of "oh no what have I gotten myself into".

Trying to finish up school, going back to work full time, having a husband who is never home because he works 90+ hours a week can really take a toll on you. Now add upcoming parenthood and I think I might have been more than a little justified in my fears of upcoming motherhood. I knew I ALWAYS wanted to be a mom, and planned and planned for when we could start trying to get pregnant, but I never dreamed it would happen so quickly.  I feel so blessed by this miracle.

I'm a fairly negative person (I'm constantly working on being more positive) and I always thought that since being a mom was the one thing I always wanted more than anything, it was going to be my hardest thing to achieve. But luckily my fears were greatly unneeded. However as the news of becoming parents began to sink in I began to feel like my world was closing in and wondering if we really shouldn't have waited a little longer to try.

These fears come from me being selfish, to wondering if I'm truly ready to be a mom, and if I'm going to be a good mom. I love children but I can always go home and get a full nights rest afterwards.

I'm selfish in that in our entire 5 year relationship I have been in school for all but 3 months of them. I sometimes shamefully wish we could have spent more time together just the two of us. We went from living in 2 different cities only seeing each other on the weekends, to 3 blissful months of being newlyweds to me working and going to school full time in which he then got a second job. All of this leaves about what feels like 2 hours a week (usually the drive to and from church on Sunday mornings) together.

I realize our struggles are not necessarily unique but I have to confess that they got the best of me in the beginning of this pregnancy. However as I begin to feel the baby more and more I am growing more and more excited. Babies don't need expensive things to be happy, they need love and a nurturing environment which I am dedicated to providing for this beautiful gift from God.

From this day forward (though I'm betting will have a few slight set backs) I vow to try and focus on the positive things Adam and I have and stop worrying so much about the things I can not control. I truly can not wait to hold my precious baby and learn to be a mom, however I still have fears of scaring this child for life, or whether or not I will truly get that "mothering instinct" and connect with this baby. All of these are just fears that are irrational and unneeded and deep down I know this. But sometimes they still get the best of me... I will continue trying to push out those negative thoughts...

I love you baby Chafin more and more each day, and it brings a tear to my eye to know that I helped create you, and provide a place for you to grow and become my perfect little miracle. Because truly to me you are my miracle that has changed my life and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Precious Mangos!

Week of May 17th

How Far Along? 19 week

19 weeks 2 days
Due Date:  October 11th

Total weight gain/loss: even though I doubled in size I think I'm still up only 12

Maternity Clothes? Pretty much all. I love my Gap maternity jeans, and they are still doing that flip thing but not as bad. But most importantly I finally got new bras...I got some maternity ones from motherhood maternity and she measured me for them and I'm up 3 cup sizes!! REALLY!!! Also I got several summery tops because it was almost 90 degrees last week! and I got some shorts from Kohls, but unfortunately I don't get to wear any of them this week because it's not even 60 out! Gotta love Indiana!!!

Stretch Marks? No new ones thank goodness, though I truly feel I almost doubled in size!

Sleep?  It hasn't been horrible this week but It was beginning to really hurt as I tried to lay on my stomach so that is now out, and I'm trying to get sleep while sleeping on my side which my darn German Shepherd made harder by destroying one of my favorite pillows I've had since I was 10 this weekend!!!

Best Moment of this Week?  It's been a really rough week emotionally so I would have to say that getting to feel the baby more and more has been the best

Movement? YES more and's the coolest thing EVER, it's a pleasant reminder of what all this pain is for, I think my baby is truly in tune with me because he/she will kick at the moment when i'm feeling most down and sad, and it brightens my day and makes everything we are going through seem worth it

Food cravings? I'm starting to crave healthier options...yay!

Food aversions? none really, thank goodness

Gender? I'm keeping ya guessing! But for those wondering I've felt lately it's a boy...not sure why though and I still waiver on that one occasionally

Labor Signs?  No thank goodness, but I have felt some cramping and tightening in my uterus this week. 

I swear I feel like I doubled in size!
Belly Button In or Out? Still in thank goodness!

What I miss? not feeling tired all the time. 

What I am looking forward to: Getting a start on the nursery! It's stressing me out!

Size of the Baby:

Baby's now the size of a mango!

Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil, and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

**pictures to come when I have someone home to take them. I tried to take them myself last night and they just didn't work :(

Monday, May 16, 2011

Where to find the time???

So this whole baby thing has got me thinking, THERE IS A LOT I NEED TO DO! I'm beginning to feel panicked with all the thing on the to do list and also trying to finish nursing school while also going back to work full time in June. AHHHH

So here is my to do list:

1. Find a crib -- I can actually cross this one off my list thanks to my wonderful cousin Allison and my in-laws for purchasing it!

2. Find a dresser

3. pick and stick with a bedding

4. paint the nursery

5. Have my BFF come and paint a mural on the wall

6. Go to a cloth diapering class and register for cloth diapers (hopefully people will help buy these for my showers :) )

7. Find a store that sells neutral baby clothes (there is NOTHING out there, I'm not the only one who doesn't want to find out!)

8. Find a bookcase or something to match the furniture so I can display the growing number of children's books and toys this baby will get

9. narrow down the options for a high chair, stroller and car seats

10. Take my wedding dress to a tailor to be turned into a Christening gown for the future Chafin babies

11. Clean out the baby's room and find a place for everything in there ( not an easy task when you have too much stuff and a room mate...and no she is not moving out anytime soon because I don't want her to!)

And this is just the start of everything. I feel so overwhelmed and completely unequipped to for this baby.  I'm not a very patient person so I want everything to be done now so I can just relax.

if anyone has any tips on where to shop cheaply (our budget is small) or tips on car seats, high chairs etc. please share them :)

God grant me the patience to cope with the growing stresses of school and pending motherhood!

Friday, May 13, 2011


For my last semester of school I'm in Community Health nursing. We are assigned to different community health agencies throughout the city. I had my first clinical yesterday. It was at St. Vincent's Diabetes Education Center. I am also there next week.

Diabetes has long been a passion of mine. It's such a complicated and often times preventable disease. Where I work at the hospital we deal A LOT with diabetes patients. It truly frustrates me that people don't take it as seriously as it is. People don't understand that YOU CAN DIE  from this disease. They think ohhh it's no big deal I'll take medicine and possibly take insulin and be fine. The problem is that as we age and put on weight and all of that stuff, how we metabolize the medications and stuff changes. Along with a variety of other things.

What gets me the most is the patients that you sit down to talk about their disease and all they can talk about is getting out of the hospital and going to get some real candy or pudding or cake. They are tired of the limits of the hospital food. The problem is that you have a disease that is going to alter the course of your life, including your eating habits! Do you love the sweets so much you are willing to risk your health because of it? I half wonder if people like this shouldn't be required to go to a meeting on food addiction!

So anyways, clearly I have a passion for this and could bore you to death with all the details, so being assigned to the Diabetes Education Center was an awesome experience for me. I loved getting to watch first hand what they do to try and help those newly diagnosed or struggling with their diagnosis of diabetes.  They go through how to use the meters, and are open to any questions and concerns. But I felt that the most significant part of the whole thing was how the patient was able to meet with a Registered Dietician to discuss food options and how to help facilitate their diagnosis with food. It was remarkable what these women do for the community of people how have diabetes. I hope one day all insurance companies would pay for this service for those with diabetes!

I feel a calling to raise awareness about the significance of diabetes in our country. But first I must focus on school and this little one but I hope to do something in the future with the course of this disease because it affects so many people!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Our little Sweet Potato!

Week of May 10th

18 weeks me and buggie
and yes I'm in all of Adam's clothes
How Far Along? 18 week

Due Date:  October 11th

Total weight gain/loss: 11lbs, which is great considering last week I was up 13!

Maternity Clothes? Pretty much all. I love my Gap maternity jeans, and they are still doing that flip thing but not as bad. I am also wearing several of the tops I had gotten back in March because my other clothes honestly don't fit in the boob area...they also aren't long enough to cover the band of the maternity jeans. But around the house I keep steeling Adam and my dads clothes LOL...Adam "yelled" at me for this today saying..."DO YOU EVER WEAR YOUR OWN CLOTHES??"

Stretch Marks? I have officially found my first pregnancy related stretch mark...on my boob. UGGG how not awesome is that!

Sleep?  Ummm not so much thanks to finals week and Adam working so much but all a small price to pay...

Best Moment of this Week? Seeing baby today on the Ultrasound!!! Adam's parents came up for it, so his mom, my mom and him were in the ultrasound room during the exam. I don't think he cared too much, but I know both moms were ecstatic to be there! Doctor said everything looked great, baby looked healthy and right on target for gestational age! YAY!! Heart rate was a strong cool 142...boy maybe?? I got the quad screen today, so will know the results of that by next week!

our first look at Ash today

perfect little body
HI world!!!

Movement? YES FINALLY! early last week I tried the tip of pulling my legs to my chest and felt gas bubbles or girgles or something in my stomach. Then on Mother's Day morning when Adam got home at 2 am from work and woke me up to talk (since I hadn't seen him in almost 36 hours...sleeping next to each other doesn't count) I felt a strong I kick in my uterus. It sort of felt like a bubble popping! I've only felt it a few other times, but it's still exciting. I'm also assuming that is what it was...

Food cravings? Food hasn't been a top priority this week I'm sad to say. I know that's not good but I couldn't help it. There has been some emotional issues and on top of that I haven't felt good

Food aversions? none really, I did get sick after eating dinner today... :(

Gender? I'm keeping ya guessing! And on top of that, the ultrasound tech said that the way the baby was positioned she couldn't get a good look is already following mommy's wishes (haha I'm not that naive I promise!)

Labor Signs?  No thank goodness, but I have felt some cramping and tightening in my uterus this week. 

Actually looks like a baby belly...sort of
Belly Button In or Out? Still in thank goodness!

What I miss? this is completely un pregnancy related but...the SUNSHINE! I swear I feel like it has rained for the last 6 weeks! The few days of sunshine we do get, I work or am in clinicals and am stuck inside all day...ohhh well this is the last summer of school....THANK GOODNESS!

What I am looking forward to: Baby related would be feeling Ash move more and more...non baby related I'm looking forward to getting this last semester under way!!

Size of the Baby:

Baby's now the size of a sweet potato!
Baby's become amazingly mobile (compared to you, at least), passing the hours yawning, hiccupping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking, and swallowing. And baby is finally big enough that you'll soon be able to feel her movements.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Down to ONE!

There has been a lot progress around the Chafin household as of late, but unfortunately haven't had a whole lot of time to blog about them.

It's official, I finished my 3rd semester of nursing school!!! I had one final last week for my mental health class and also our Kaplan test and had get a certain grade on it to get extra points. I'm happy to say things went great on both accounts!!!! I also finished up a final paper and a take home final exam last week. Doesn't it make you miss finals week????? Now we are officially moving on to the next and LAST semester.

Today marks the first day of my last semester of nursing school! I'm thrilled about it! I've long been at the burnt out point and just really want to be done! It's so hard to be in school while everyone else gets to be out there enjoying their lives. I feel like Adam and I miss out on so much because he works 2 jobs just to make ends meet! But I vow to work hard this summer and pass everything, the bright spot in all of this school stuff is that by the time I'm done, it will only be a mere 7 weeks before my little bean makes his/her arrival! I have to say that is the BEST part of all of this!!!

For the first 8 weeks of the semester I have Community Health Nursing and I'm a little anxious to see what this is all about, but excited at the same time! I'm looking forward to something a little different because we will be going to different clinics throughout the area and I actually volunteered to go to a home health agency who specializes in pediatric patients who are on ventilators. I think it will be a great experience! I truly look forward to it.

In other news...My second (well technically 3rd) ultrasound is tomorrow! For those familiar with pregnancy this is the one that I could go to and find out the sex of the baby, and as I've said before, We are NOT finding out. I am however excited to go and see my little one's hands and feet and see baby look more like a human than a food product. I'm also nervous because you never know what could happen, and also I'm afraid by accident I may find out...In maternity clinicals I was able to watch several ultrasounds and I actually was there when the ultrasound tech told the mothers that they were having a boy/girl and I was able to see that before she even had it up on the screen. But I suppose if I do find out tomorrow it will all be a part of Gods plan.

Also in other exciting news I have officially felt the little one move!!!!!!! I tried my friends suggestion of bringing my legs up to my chest and this allowed me to feel like gas bubble things in my stomach. But on Mother's Day morning at about 2 am when Adam finally got home from work I felt a little what I'm assuming was a kick. It felt like a gas bubble popping in my uterus! SO EXCITING!!!

I am also slowly buying things for the baby's room and am dreading the process of cleaning out our "catch all" room. It is going to be one HUGE project but well worth it. Adam's parents also ordered our crib and it should be here in the next few days, but we won't be able to put it up until June because right now that bedroom holds a bed that some of my family will be using in a few weeks when one of my cousins get married. But no worries I will take before and after pictures! I'm going to need a lot of help in the decorating area because if you could see my house you would see how horrible I am at decorating! But our theme is CLASSIC WINNIE the POOH and I've really enjoyed looking on ebay for some great finds of little things to put in the nursery! :)
Well until tomorrow, have a wonderful evening all!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Sweet Onion

Week of May 3rd...Happy Birthday Lydia!

How Far Along? 17 weeks

17 weeks 1 day
2 finals today so the pic had to wait
and excuse the horrible hair, I just
got out of the shower
Due Date: Oct 11

Total weight gain/loss: +8-10 depending on the day and what I eat

Maternity clothes? I'm rocking the Gap Maternity jeans and a couple of shirts, I hate tight clothing more than anything, so some of my pre-pregnancy clothes still fit. But the jeans are getting tighter and I'm wondering how the half band is going to work as I get bigger. i was just wearing the jeans up higher but now every time I sit down the band rolls down...any suggestions??

Stretch Marks? I'm honestly terrified of this, I bought some Palmer's cocoa butter stretch marks stuff, so hopefully this will help. I already have some on my sides from growing so fast as a kid and I hate them, so I might have a mini breakdown if they happen with the baby! Plus that won't make for cute maternity pics!!!

Sleep: I've been feeling a little better, and sleep is slowly getting better, but it's getting more and more uncomfortable sleeping on my stomach, the only problem is, this is the ONLY way I can fall asleep. I've tried other ways but it just doesn't work! AND i've been having nightmares about the fact that I might be killing the baby because I'm sleeping on my stomach, like I'm suffocating it or irrational! 

Best moment this week: getting to see all the people I love for the many parties I attended, Including Miss Lydia Rose's 1st birthday party (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS LYDIA!!!), my dear friends baby shower, she is due in like 3 weeks, and my cousins bachelorette party. All of these were this past saturday and I didn't get home until 3am!!! no worries I slept until 1:30 sunday afternoon. What a WASTE!

Movement: There have been a couple of times where I thought I might have felt a strong kick but since I don't know what this is supposed to feel like I'm a little unsure. someone told me it may be a while since I'm so long torsoed, but who knows. I had a friend give me a suggestion about sitting with my legs up to my chest, so I'm going to try this. i'm just dying to feel Ash!

Food cravings: I haven't really been eating a whole lot this week. Nothing really sounds good but I drank a whole half gallon of milk yesterday. I'm trying to eat more healthy but it's hard!

Food aversions: cream cheese and sour cream seem to make my stomach turn for a few hours...
the gut

Gender: I want to find out at the birth!

Labor Signs: none

Belly Button in or out? i'm still hoping it stays in!

What I miss: not feeling like I'm the size of texas and not having as big of rolls!

What I am looking forward to: my final tomorrow (just because it means the semester is over) and my doctor appointment next tues. It's an ultrasound, my mother-in-law is coming up for it so I'm hoping its all good news. and yes I could find out the sex if I wanted to but I don't, so you'll just have to wait :)

Size of baby: 

Baby's now the size of an onion!
Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. His umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes now feature one-of-a-kind prints.