Monday, December 26, 2011

Two Months Old

Lincoln turned 2 months old couple of weeks ago. The delay in the post is because I was waiting for his 2 month doctor appointment on the monday after and then I unfortunately had to go back to work last week, but that will be a separate post.

Over the last month I've really enjoyed getting to know my little booger. This month has been by far a lot easier than the first month. He is really the sweetest little boy ever, although I'm biased. This month his personality has really started to show. He is getting more and more social and his wake times are getting more and frequent. Now his doctor did confirm with me  that he does have a mild case of colic, but even so he is getting easier and easier. Though it does help that his mimi and papa are just down the road and can come over and give this mama a break!

This month he developed some sort of schedule. I use that term lightly but there is some sort of pattern. He usually wakes up around 9 or 9:30 and then he is up for a little bit, somewhere between 30 min and 1 1/2 hours, then will sleep for 45 minutes to 2 hours. His feedings have moved from every 2 hours to closer to 3.5 or 4 hours.

We had a great month at home together and getting to spend every second together. I truly cherished those moments because I knew I was going to have to return to work. But I did do a trial run a couple of times. We left him for a few hours with my sister while we tried the black friday thing, and we left him with his mimi and papa so we could go to dinner just the two of was weird!

This month he celebrated his baptism and first thanksgiving. So it was a big month overall. He has changed a lot and has grown a lot too. When I look at him it's hard to believe that he is 2 months old and how big he has gotten. It's also hard to believe that just 2 months ago this beautiful baby was inside me completely dependent upon me and only me. It's sometimes hard to allow other people to tend to his needs because for so long it was just me. In fact one of my instructors said it best once when I was talking to her about having to go back to work.  She said it was going to be hard because after all you have been with him for almost a whole year with minimal separation. When she said that I was almost moved to tears because that truly did describe how I felt.

One thing that has really surprised me this month is how much my love for him has grown. I can't honestly say that I was overwhelmed with love for him while I was pregnant, I never really felt an overly strong connection that I thought I would. Don't get me wrong I always loved him and wanted what was best for him, but I always felt that I would have this OVERWHELMING feeling of love, but I didn't at first. Friends of mine would describe their love for their unborn child or newborn and it would almost make me feel guilty because I just didn't feel that.  I don't know if exhaustion and the fact that he was so fussy played a part of it or all of the emotional turmoil of the year but it just wasn't there even though I wanted it to be.

However this month I can say that my love for him brings me to tears. I am overwhelmed by my love for him. He is tied for first as the best thing that has ever happened to me (his dad is the second part of the tie). I am truly moved and taken aback at the love a parent can have for their child. It's remarkable. I love nothing more than being Adam's wife and Lincoln's mom. I feel so blessed that God chose me to be both. I feel so truly blessed.

Well here are a few of the milestones/things he enjoys this month.

  • He smiles A LOT during the morning hours
  • He loves the shower/bath time. There are several times where he just falls asleep when we shower together because he is so relaxed. 
  • He still pretty much hates his pacifier. SO much so that it will sometimes upset him more if you try to give it to him.
  • He loves his lamb seat and sitting and watching everything
  • He loves Christmas lights and we've set him in front of the tree to just stare at them several times
  • Getting his diaper changed is one of his favorite times. He could be fussy then we put him on the changing table and he is all giggles and smiles. 
  • He loves to be naked, and is sometimes the happiest being so
  • He absolutely HATES to have anything put over his head. He could be all happy and almost giggling then you put a onesie over his head and you'd think he was going to die. and it will sometimes take 5-10 minutes to calm him back down. 
  • The best thing he does is when I say his name and he gets a smile from ear to ear. It melts my heart and I love it!
  • Mommy isn't very good at tummy time because he can be so fussy and I don't want to upset him, but he's getting better with it and will lift his head about 45˚ or so. 
  • He coos A LOT sometimes it even sounds like giggling
  • He will sometimes hear my voice and turn his head to me, if nothing else he definitely turns his eyes, he sometimes struggles with the head thing. 
  • He slept through the night (7 hours) for the first time when he was 6 weeks old 
  • On average he sleeps about 4-5 hour stretches at nigh, though he will still have a bad night here or there where he is up every 2. 
  • When held upright he can hold his head up, occasionally he's a little wobbly but for the most part he's pretty good about it
  • He will hold a rattle and shake it if it's placed in his hand
  • he will reach out and try and touch the "toys" on his activity mat
Overall Lincoln is growing and developing well. Sometimes I get a little almost defensive when I hear about my friends kids who are the same age and able to do things such as roll over already, but I have to remember that every baby is different and he is growing at a healthy pace for him. He will catch up eventually. He doesn't have to do everything first, so long as he's developing thats what matters.

This month breastfeeding has gone a lot better. We attended breastfeeding support group meetings a couple of times a week. I'm thankful I had the time to dedicate to breastfeeding. It's not easy and I'm grateful to have the support of other nursing moms. Due to my dedication, I can say that Lincoln is growing at a steady pace. He doesn't seem to be growing as fast as some of my friends kids are, but he's holding strong! His stats at his 2 month appointment were:

  • He weights 11 lbs 8 oz
  • He's 23.75 inches long
  • He's in the 50% for weight
  • He's in the 75% for height
He also got his first round of vaccines. Before they gave him his vaccines I talked with his doctor about doing an alternative schedule. Unfortunately most of the vaccines he would get at his first appointment came in a combo vaccine so I was unable to separate them as I wanted to. So he just got his combo vaccine. But then the doctor wanted to make sure he got the rotovirus oral vaccine because I guess he wouldn't be able get it past so many weeks of age. So I wasn't able to get the exact schedule I wanted but it's better than nothing.

Now I know that as I'm writing this I've already been back to work for 2 weeks. But at his 2 month birthday I know that I was excited for what the next month would bring to my baby boy of celebrating his first christmas and new years. But I was also dreading going back to work. I'll I'd ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom, but unfortunately our finances don't allow me to do so. So I headed back  to work to help provide for my family. I miss my little man dearly but it's unfortunately all a part of what I have to do!

Here are a few pictures from his 2 month photoshoot...

i love this little face

so alert now

classic pouty face

such a cute smile

he found the sticker

sort of tried to eat it

hi ya

cutie boy

angel baby

Happy 2 month Birthday baby boy! I love you!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


So Lincoln will be 2 months old tomorrow...WOW! With being 2 months old comes another well baby visit and his vaccines.

Obviously if you haven't been living under a rock for the last 10ish years you know there has been a lot of discussion about childhood vaccines. Now I for one don't entirely believe that there is a link to autism or anything like that, but it sort of makes you wonder.

However I do think they are extremely and sometimes unnecessarily aggressive with childhood vaccines. I do believe in children being vaccinated, because they were created and have done a lot of good for people. But I don't necessarily think that a 2 month old baby needs 6 vaccines all at once. SERIOUSLY!

I've talked with several people about this, and I seem to be in agreement with only a small few. Many of my friends had their children vaccinated according to what their pediatrician recommends. Maybe I'm weird but just because I like and trust Lincoln's doctor doesn't mean his always 100% correct. They are CONSTANTLY changing the guidelines for everything including vaccines, so whats wrong with questioning them? Nothing in my opinion. I feel like as a mother I have to be an advocate for my son, and for me part of that is being knowledgable on everything that goes into his body and really doing my research. Medicine isn't an exact science and this is why protocols and things are changed a lot.

While I think it's important to have Lincoln vaccinated, I do believe I want him to be vaccinated on an alternative schedule, which means he would only get 2 vaccines each month instead of 6 every 2 months! Granted with this I would have to pay additional co-pays and have more doctor visits but I think thats a small price to pay for me to be more comfortable with what goes on.

My real thing with the vaccines is that I truly think that the amount of vaccines they get at 2 months is a lot and I don't want to overload his immune system. He is so small and slowly growing and maturing that letting him build up the antibodies to 2 vaccines at a time seems like a better idea than having his body do it for 6 at a time.

Also surprisingly enough I'm not a huge fan of medicine (odd since I'm a nurse) but I don't like a lot of medicine being pumped into me, or my child...hence the natural childbirth. And again while the vaccines are a necessary part of our culture and society I don't think they need to be done so aggressively.

Hopefully Lincoln's doctor will be ok with all of this since I haven't been able to talk to him about any of it just yet. But I'm honestly a little nervous about it. I'm not someone who just does what they are told because some higher power says so. I question things and I tend to believe in things that aren't common or the high majority today. So we will see...hopefully all will go well!

The Great Sleep Debate

Maybe I'm just a first time mom or maybe Lincoln is just difficult I don't really know but sleep can be a bit of a challenge in this household.

First off I should say that I personally think that Lincoln is a fussy baby. From what I've heard from other mom's and the other babies I've been around just further prove that he's a little more on the fussy side. How I would describe Lincoln is that if he isn't sleeping he's crying. I am told he isn't colicky because he is consolable, which he is for the most part.

Now in the last 3 or so weeks his fussiness has gotten better. He will contently look around in his lamb seat or rock n play for about 20-30 minutes at a time, so I'm able to do more things around the house.

When he was younger he literally had two states of being, sleep or scream. The only real way he slept was if someone was holding him. For the first month or so he would sort of sleep in his co-sleeper next to my bed in about 1-2 hour increments and then wake up needing to eat. Then by 4 am he was done sleeping on his own and wanted to lay on my chest, which i allowed because lets face it he wasn't going to need/want me like that forever.

At 3 weeks we started swaddling him which offered me a lot of piece of mind. The hospital we deliver at doesn't recommend swaddling so we didn't, I held off for as long as I could but I couldn't take the every 30 minutes of waking up crying. Once we swaddled him he started to sleep in about 2.5-3 hour spans at night. Hallelujah!!

Then a couple of weeks after that I noticed when he would go to sleep in the co-sleeper next to me, he would still startle himself awake again, even being swaddled. His whole body would jolt forward, this would in turn wake him up and he would scream and the only thing that would really calm him down was to lay next to me. 

I am slightly ashamed to say it but Lincoln does on occasion sleep with me. Sometimes it's all I can do to get a couple of hours of sleep. Granted for me they aren't the best hours of sleep but they are better than nothing at all. 

Well after getting some suggestions we borrowed the fisher price rock and play from a friend of mine from college and let me just say it's a lifesaver! The first night we had it he slept for 4 hours straight. Then in the next couple of days he slept for 7 hours, but that was only once!!! Of course he hasn't slept like that since but still!

It seems like we have this cycle of him getting better with the sleeping then he goes back to his old habits. Currently his sleeping consists of usually somewhere between 10 and midnight he goes down. He will sometimes wake up at 2 for a feeding, then again at 4. A couple of days he has woken up at 6ish for another feeding but then will sleep until around 9 or 10! I for the most part I keep him in the rock n play, but by 4 or 6 I usually put him in his swing, because he seems to sleep the best in there. There have been plenty of nights where I just give up and bring him to bed with me. It's bizarre because he literally calms down the minute he is next to me and will sleep for 4 hours like that. He must really love me :)

I'm a little worried that having him sleep somewhere other than a flat surface of the co-sleeper or his crib could be hurting his chances of sleeping in his crib one day, but it's the only way he sleeps, and I'm a little nervous to put in back in the co-sleeper for fear he will be up every 30 minutes again, and I have a fear of him coking to death. The rock n play really has been a lifesaver. But let me tell you how silly my side of the bed looks with a co-sleeper, the rock n play and a swing all lined up...

Given all of this I started to read babywise. In reading it I have come to find that they have some really great suggestions about a routine and schedule for baby. Such as feed the baby, have baby awake for about 30 minutes then put baby down for a nap. I've tried this schedule for the last few days and it really does seem to work! They say with this then baby will start sleeping through the night between 7-9 weeks.

My misgivings with this book is that they say you should let baby cry to sleep. This could take anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes. I'm sorry but I'm just not ok with letting my baby cry for 45 minutes. Being that Lincoln is fussy, he cries a lot, so I usually only let him go for about 5 maybe 10 minutes before I try to go and console him. It just seems un-natural to let a baby cry for much longer. I am of the mindset that babies don't cry just to cry...they need something. However there are times where its OBVIOUS that he is fighting sleep and if I were to leave him alone for a few minutes he would fall asleep...during these times its 30 seconds or less and he's out!

My other misgivings is that the book basically makes me feel like I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong. They  basically said Lincoln is fussy because he doesn't sleep enough and I don't let him cry it out. Well as stated before I'm not comfortable with the crying out thing, and no he doesn't sleep all that well due to his startling thing. So in the last few days I've started to swaddle him for his naps and this seems to help with the naps, but not necessarily with the night-time rest. I still swaddle him but he can sometimes still wake up SEVERAL times a night. One night he was literally up all night. I only got 1 hour of sleep...

Also I'm not so sure I want him sleeping through the night...what an odd statement I know...but if he goes longer than 5 or so hours I really start to hurt due to me breastfeeding. SO if I'm going to be up to pump I'd rather just feed him because he empties me better and faster than the pump does, plus I have to be more awake to pump. What I would like him to do is sleep for a solid 5 hours wake to feed and then sleep for another 4-5 hours. What's really draining me is when he wakes up every 2 hours to eat. I'm about over that!

My biggest worry is that I'm doing him a disservice by having him sleep in the rock n play or swing. Am I hurting his chances at ever sleeping in his crib? However the last 2 days I have swaddled him and put him in his crib for his naps and he does ok with that, sleeping anywhere from 1-4 hours...
But I just don't know when I should start to try and put him back in the co-sleeper or start putting him in his crib (I'm emotionally not ready for that). I'm also afraid that Adam will just put him in his crib and let him cry all night when I go to working nights in 2 weeks. This worries me because Adam says I've created a monster, but I don't think so, I just think he needs more attention and love from us.

So anyways if anyone has any suggestions for me, I'd appreciate them...hopefully I'm doing right by my baby, I just am not overly confident in my ability as a mother I guess and I really just want to be the best mom to Lincoln.

Monday, December 5, 2011


So I suck and totally forgot to blog about Lincoln's most important day yet!!!
When he was 5 weeks old he was BAPTIZED in the Catholic Church! granted a lot has happened since then, but it was still an extremely important day!!

We chose my sister to be his Godmother. I had asked her when we told her we were pregnant with Lincoln. I put his ultrasound picture in a frame and had the words "would you be my Godmother" on it. She actually told me that she woke up one day before I had him and she was hold tightly to the picture. HOW CUTE!!! She was made to be his Godmother!!!

her and I have never been all that close but Lincoln has truly brought us closer together and I'll forever be thankful for that.

For his Godfather it was a little trickier. Since I don't have any brothers, we chose my cousin Jeremy, since I was under the impression that his Godparents needed to be Catholic. He is the closest thing I have to a brother. He is only 6 months younger than I am. We were in the same grade and went to the same school and we've always really leaned on each other during hard times. He's an amazing guy and I'm so grateful he is in my life and will be such a huge part of Lincoln's life.

So He was baptized after the 12:30 mass on November 13th. His Baptismal gown was made by my aunt's mother in law and it was made from my wedding dress. I've never really understood preserving a wedding dress, i never plan to wear it again and I don't want my future daughter to wear it because I feel your wedding dress should reflect you and your personality, and plus styles change all the time. So I always knew my dress would be made into a gown for my children to be Baptized in. This gown will be used for all of my children's baptisms. The slip will have their names embroidered on it with the date they were Baptized. I would love for my grandchildren and so on to use the dress to but I will leave that up to their parents. :)

Overall it was a beautiful day and it was spent with almost all of Lincoln's family and closest friends. Adam and I are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends to support our little man. They were all so generous to him and gave him wonderful gifts and lots of money. Adam and I decided to take the money they gave him and open a college account for him. I have to do a little more research on the subject but I believe it's an account that is set up especially for college. I also hope it's an account that anyone could put money in for him in the future. We have been meaning to set this up but haven't gotten a chance since Adam is out of town a lot now, but hopefully we will do it soon!

Here are a few pictures:

Monsignor preparing for the baptism

proud parents

with the Godparents


So proud of our little man
with Mimi and Papa

with his pop and Grandma

Uncle Andrew and Auntie

With his GiGi!!!!!!

pondering what just happened

with all of his amazing Grandparents
Congratulations Lincoln! We Love you!!!