I'm a Mommy!

Ok so I realize this is a little bit late, but it's been quite an adjustment being a mommy. SOOOO here is the story of how Lincoln came to this world. And for those wondering, yes I was able to do it natural without the use of an epidural. Although I must say that it would not have been possible without the great support of my husband, our parents, my sister and my wonderful Doctor who was my cheerleader through it all!

Last week I had been having an increase in contractions each day. I was getting nervous because for work I was still waiting to be changed to my RN job code. I worked on Wednesday and shadowed a nurse for the first time. By the end of the day I was just exhausted, 12 hour shifts were hard 6 days from my due date. I had talked with HR and they ensured me that I would be changed in the system by the end of the day. I knew that little one was waiting for that to happen then he/she would come soon after.  I got word on Thursday that I had in fact been changed in the system so it was just a matter of time.

On Thursday I called my doctors office because I had to change my appointment for the following week, in doing so I found out my doctor was on call all weekend. I remember calling adam immediately telling him that I was going to have the baby this weekend! and we needed to do EVERYTHING in our power to ensure that it happened.

I forget now what we had for dinner that night but we went on a walk where my contractions increased to about every 6 minutes, but they didn't last longer than an hour.

Then on Friday I was rushing around the house trying to ensure that EVERYTHING was cleaned, I did our sheets, vacuumed the whole house, and did 3 loads of laundry (nesting much?). All day I was having on and off contractions, and a little bit of bleeding. Finally at like noon Adam convinced me to call my doctor.  She said for me to monitor my bleeding to see if it eased up a little bit in 2 hours or if it continued to get worse or stayed the same. When I called her back it had eased up and so had the contractions. SAD :(

So we went on with our evening, making SPICY tacos, and trying the age old remedy that is said to be fool poof ;) no joke about 5 minutes later my contractions were 8 minutes apart and regular. by 11pm I woke Adam up and told him he should start timing them. They were still about 7 minutes apart and were stopping me in my tracks. They were a bit painful so I started to walk around the house and told Adam we should pack a bag just in case this was it. While up and moving my contractions were anywhere from 6 to 1 and half minutes apart. We decided we would wait to call the doctor until my contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart while standing or laying down.

By 1 am I was exhausted, I'd been up since 8 am Friday morning so I tried to lay down a little, my contractions got worse with laying down but I was able to "fall asleep" between them. By 3 am I called into work because I was going on zero sleep and was hoping that my little one was going to be born soon. Then by 5 am my contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasting about 1 minute each. so we paged the doctor but it took her about an hour to call us back. Finally at 6:15 she called us back and told us to come to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital I was 4cm and 90% effaced...YAY! We called both parents and told them we were being admitted. Baby Chafin was on his/her way!  My parents and sister arrived at around 8:30 I was almost shocked to see Papa Steve there since it was a Saturday and there was a home Purdue game, but everyone was there to support me through all the pain. Everyone took turns holding my hand and breathing with me through each contraction. But Adam was a constant by my side! (remember I was determined to do this natural)

By 11:30am I was checked again and I was 6cm and 100% effaced. yay I was making progress. my contractions were about 4 minutes apart and lasting about a minute each. Adam was amazing through each one. He was standing by my side, holding my hand and massaging my neck and head. My mom and sister and dad were taking turns holding my hands too, and during those times Adam was rubbing my feet. I felt so supported and loved it was truly awesome.

I don't remember when I was checked again, but I was 9 cm. and then we hit a road block mentally at about 2:30. I was having contractions that would last about 6 minutes long and every 2 minutes. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't catch a break. I was tired and just ready to be done. (keep in mind I'd been up since 8:30 the PREVIOUS morning) I talked with my doctor about what the options were with pain medicine because I knew there were options other than an epidural. They said they could offer me Nubaine. Adam and I talked it over for like an hour almost 2 before we made a decision.

When my contractions weren't easing up and I was almost in tears through each one from pure exhaustion more than anything, Adam agreed that I should try the Nubaine since we were told it wouldn't slow down my labor and that all it really did was take the edge off for about an hour. So the resident wanted to give me a full 10 mg, but with my history with pain medicine I asked to have half a dose, which I must say WAS PLENTY! I'm honestly a little worried to see what a full dose would have done for me. with the Nubaine I still felt each painful contraction but the difference was that I was able to relax between them and almost fall asleep.

At around 6:30 my doctor came in to check me again and there was no change. She said at this point since it had been 4 hours with no change, she needed to brake my water. I was nervous about this because I was already exhausted and wasn't sure I could continue, and then to break my water which probably meant the contractions were going to get worse, but at this point I didn't have much of a choice. She said that breaking my water would make things go faster and I was all about getting to meet my baby and be done with all the pain!

At 7 the nurse checked me because I was starting to feel the urge to push and I had an anterior lip of cervix left, but baby was still at zero station. Baby needs to be at +2 before I could push. My nurse was awesome and offered me different positions to hopefully move things along, I sat up forward over a squatting bar and in about 45 minutes she rechecked and I was 10cm and baby was FINALLY at  +2!

She called the doctor and the doctor told her it was ok to start coaching me through pushing. So a little after 8 pm I began my 2 excruciating hours of pushing. I must say that those 2 hours were the most painful of my life. Pushing was such a weird sensation in itself. I won't go into all the details but it felt like it took forever. I was exhausted and I remember thinking this baby was never going to come. My doctor was awesome through it as were Adam and my mom. I had decided to let my mom in the room because after my water broke she was by my side praying the Our Father and Hail Mary in my ear and it was really calming and knew I would need that through the pushing.

I will share this. As painful as pushing was, the pain I felt when his head came out and then his shoulders was the best feeling I've ever felt in my life. It hurt like hell and it burned but It was also such an amazing feeling all in one. I wouldn't have traded any of the pain for that moment.  when it came down to the end the nurses and my doctor kept asking me if I wanted an mirror and i had to say no because i knew that in pushing and focusing on watching my baby be born I would loose my focus.

Finally the moment came for me to see my baby. I had passed the head and shoulders and my doctor told me to reach down for my baby. I pulled the baby on to my chest and was overwhelmed with emotion. I was now a mommy!!! Adam immediately lifted the baby's leg and screamed. "IT'S A BOY!" he was on his side on my stomach.

My mom took pictures through the last part of the pushing process and she was crying and couldn't focus our new camera but the expression on Adams face watching his son be born was priceless and makes me feel so proud.  This is probably my favorite picture of everything that happened because it captures the raw emotion Adam and I had and the excitement of being parents.

So this is the story of our precious Lincoln Robert Knox. It's been an adjustment getting used to him. But i'm beyond thrilled he is finally here. I feel so lucky to be his mom, although it doesn't quite seem real yet. 

Also I have to say that all my fears of what having a baby would do to Adam and my relationship have been subsided. We are closer and stronger than ever. I can honestly say that before Lincoln my love for Adam grew daily, but since Lincoln's birth my love for Adam has more than doubled in the last week. To see him as a father, and be so attentive to me and my needs is overwhelming. I've never felt so loved in all my life. I am so lucky to have found such a wonderful man in Adam. 

Tomorrow is my first day being mommy on my own so I will hopefully be able to update on our first week at home. Although there will probably be many tears shed by both Lincoln and I, I'm hoping it will be a success. I just wish Adam could stay home with us forever and that neither one of us ever had to work. A girl can dream right?