Prayers

Ok so I'm a little stressed out and thought I'd ask for some prayers. I have two huge exams tomorrow and one of them is in the class I'm not exactly passing. I am 1 percentage point away from passing so I need to do well on this exam tomorrow. Any prayers you are willing to send my way would be greatly appreciated.  The power of prayer is a wonderful thing and I know God will bring me through this and all my stress is for nothing, but every little prayer can help to ease my nerves!
I know I can do well and get through this, for anything is possible through God.

It's amazing

So Adam FINALLY came home yesterday!!!!! I am sooo happy! The only bad part was that I had to work, so he was home for 3 hours before I ever got there. :( But he will be home for at the very least a couple of days so I'm on cloud nine! :)

Yesterday was quite the day! I had a midterm at 9:30 and I was also scheduled  to work. I was able to get my friend Courtney to cover my shift in the morning so I could take my test and then go in after. The only bad part of this plan was that I was going on a whole 3 hours worth of sleep. The night before I was up til 1 am studying for my midterm(which was over 25 chapters and the class only started 3 weeks ago!) and then I also got up at 4 to continue studying. Of course I fell asleep for a half hour between 6-6:30 and then fed the dogs and all that but overall I felt like I prepared a lot for this exam but still didn't quite know the material. But either way I took the exam and then headed off to work. The exam went ok, could have been better, could have been worse but either way I'm ok with it.

Work was find, nothing new, just exhausing but it was a late night due to a late admission and I didn't get out of the hospital til amost 8:15! Adam and I had planned to go downtown to celebrate my cousin's 25th birthday but I could barely keep my eyes open! The only bad part to even attempting to go out was that I am at work today. So going out would have consisted of like 20 minutes before we turned around to go home because I was flipping tired! Thank heavens Allison was so understanding, but I felt guilty ALL night!
Once I finally got home around 8:45 I changed and spend a whole 30 minutes with my hubby before I was too tired to stay awake any longer! So I was in bed by 9:15 and the last time I looked at the clock it was 9:45. It was the first time in a LONG time I was asleep before the sun went down! Now maybe I was just that tired, but it truly amazes me how much better I sleep with Adam home and lying next to me. When he is gone I toss and turn and just don't sleep much at all! It is so nice having him home and actually getting some adult conversation at night with a human in front of me instead of over the phone!
So Alley I'm sorry I missed coming out with you! I hope you can forgive me and that you had a wonderful time! I feel so guilty missing it!

Well tomorrow is when Miss Lydia get's baptized and I'm so incredably happy for Allison and Matt! This is such an amazing experience and I can hardly wait to get to witness this. I feel so honored to be even the smallest bit a part of it!
well thats all for now! LOVE!

I miss him

What's it like?

So while I am still in the mist of my emotional breakdown, during my walk last night I think I figured it out. School is draining me to no end. I don't even remember what it's like to not having anything to do. I was thinking while walking with the dogs last night. What's it like to not have to do homework? What's it like to not have to read 5 bazillion chapters of different books and study each of them? What's it like not having an exam weighing over my head? What's it like to not have a pit in the bottom of my stomach?
Well I came up with the answer. I have been going NON-STOP school work since January! Granted I had "spring break" which i used to catch up on school work and clean my house. and then I had a whopping 2 days off between semesters and I worked both of them!
So I think my emotional breakdown really stems from just not really having time to myself or to spend with the ones I love. So I apologize for being negative nelly yesterday. Just have to try and stay focused but sometimes it really is hard. I have just 13 months left and I really can't wait! Thanks to all for your support! I appreciate it a lot!

I feel blue

I feel sad today and can't get motivated. I've sort of been having an emotional breakdown over the past few days and today Adam left to go out of town and apparently that was the straw that broke the camels back. I was an emotional reck yesterday. I would break down into tears about every 10 minutes it felt like, poor Adam!

He left about 5 this morning and I got up to say goodbye and then cried for about 15 minutes but then of course could not fall back asleep. I just hate being home alone, and the worst part is, with my work schedule the next few weeks I really will only seem him for 1 day until the end of July because I work every time he is home but I will be able to snuggle him at night so that is a good thing. I try to put a positive spin on it by saying now I won't feel guilty for studying all the time with him gone and he is staying with his parents which I'm so happy about since I can't get down there until September. I love that he his going to be able to spend some quality time with his parents, grandparents and friends that are all down there.  But in reality I'm still sad. I know that so many people have it way worse than I do and this makes me feel stupid for even complaining. I mean he is working to support us and this provides him with job security for the next 2 years, which is much needed at this point in life. I should be happy and in many ways I am but for the time being I'm having a pity party.

The other part of my emotional breakdown was school. I'm so tired of being in school. I have a pit in my stomach constantly from stress of trying to keep my head above water with school and work. Plus the piling bills of student loans makes me want to puke! Life is turning out to be much harder than I thought it would be and I'm not much of a fan. I'm hoping once I'm done with school some of this stress and constant worrying will be done but something tells me it just won't be.

Then we have the children factor of the equation. All I've EVER wanted was to have kids, 4-5 would be perfect for me. And to be honest it KILLS me knowing I can't and won't have that until at the very earliest I'm 27! I feel like all I'm doing is wasting my time, I hate that I ever went into the major I did and I hate that I wasted 4 years of my life doing something I knew in my gut after 2 years wasn't for me.

Of course after thinking through all of this, and seeing how ridiculous and petty I'm being I realize that my life is going exactly how it should be according to God's plan and I just have to learn to adjust. I have a lot of GREAT things going for me, so why is it I focus on the things that aren't going how I want them to? I think in today's society its hard to sit back and trust in what God has planned for us. This was very apparent to me last night while studying in the park. I had a butterfly that would not leave me alone. He kept landing on my school work. For those of you who don't know me, my family is quite obsessed with butterflies. Now I'm not sure what his message was to me. But I'm choosing to take it as him showing me that I'm on the right track of what God has planned for me.

Writing this post has been most therapeutic for me. I feel much better after writing out all my feelings. I realize now while it's ok to miss my wonderfully amazing husband so very much. It doesn't mean my world stops because he is gone. I am going to make this a very productive time for getting through this horrible semester. God has a plan for me and him and I just need to trust in it.

She's Officially Mrs. Reynolds!

One of my dearest friends got married this weekend! I couldn't be happier for her! I sometimes feel like we waited and waited for this day to happen and other times it feels like it was just yesterday that they started dating. Well either way it was a beautiful day to have gotten married! It was unseasonably cool for July so that made for nice weather to have a wedding.

Well the wedding festivities started on friday! All the bridesmaids got manicures and pedicures. I only got a pedicure because I chose to save a little money and paint my finger nails myself, although I have to say that never happened. Then while others were finishing up their pedicures and stuff I went to go get my eyebrows threaded. Jennifer had me convinced this would hurt like no other, but honestly I didn't think it hurt at all and I loved the way they looked afterwards! I think I just found a new obsession for myself! Well after everyone was done with the nail painting hoopla Mrs. Rix (yes I've known her for almost 15 years and I still call her Mrs. Rix) hosted a bridal luncheon at this really cool restaurant in downtown Carmel called Serindipity. The food was DELISH! and it has a cool story, it used to be a bank and John Dillinger actually robbed it once! Here is a picture of all the attendees at the bridal luncheon standing in front of the vault that Dillinger once robbed. I have to say I thought this was really cool!

This other picture is just all the bridesmaids :)
After lunch me and Vina went and ran some errands, got her a dress for the rehearsal and got Jenn's ring cleaned.

heres a picture of the couple one last time before they get married!!! :)

The rehearsal was so much fun. Matt's parents had catered in Famous Daves BBQ! It was so good. I swear I feel like I gained 10 lbs after all the food!

Well then Saturday was the BIG day. Poor Jenn was running around to all her different appointments and I think it quite honestly stressed her out a bit. First of all her hair appointment took an whole hour longer than anticipated so it set her back for her other appointments. But once she got the the church and got her dress on, it was semi smooth sailing. I don't any pictures from the ceremony because being in the wedding I obviously could not stand up there and take pictures. After the ceremony it was time to party!!!!!! They had their reception at the Monon Center. It was so beautiful. The place had a balcony that people could be out on, just simply beautiful!!!!

Her pretty Cake!

Now I know this was a big thing for Jenn because the girl does not like cake. She originally wanted and Ice cream bar but cost wise that wasn't possible! But she gave in and did a cake, (I mean wedding cake is much better than birthday cake!) it was a beautiful cake and she got to have that whole odd tradition of feeding each other. (kind of an odd tradition when you think about it).
Then it was time for the dances, and well the party to really start! :)

They danced to Bring it On Home by Little Big Town. Which was perfect for them! Such a sweet song that they have loved since they started dating!
After all the traditional stuff the real fun started. We danced and danced and had a blast!!! It was an awesome time!
One of my favorite moments of the whole reception was when all my friends from High School were able to get together for a picture. Often times with many of us living throughout the country we are never all in the same place. So it was a special moment!

The wedding was a nice break from reality! A much needed break from school I didn't look at a single book this weekend and I may pay for it this week but it was well worth it!
Congrats to Matt and Jenn! Welcome to the married club! IT ROCKS!

Bachelorette Party and more

Ok so I realize it's been a while since this bachelorette party but I thought better late than never. So Saturday morning mom was running late but we ended up getting on our way around noon for Nashville. Mom had just gotten her new phone and so I told her I would enter all of her contacts for her, which took from my house to Louisville I might add. Holy cow did that woman have a lot of contacts!
Well anyways before we left, I placed my bag behind the drivers seat because mom told me that behind the passenger seat was wet, but they weren't sure why, they thought maybe someone spilt something. So my bag had all my books and my computer in it. Once we hit Louisville I take out my computer and it has a bit of water on it. I dig further and all of my books are covered in water. In fact my bag is drenched! So I take out everything and to try and dry it out. When we get to the hotel mom backs up in the parking lot which is on a hill and this is what we discover behind the passenger seat...

there is 3 inches of standing water! So mom and I take a towel and get as much water out as we can. But it was still wet when we left the next day. Turned out that the tree my sister parks under at my parents house had a bunch of leaves that fell off and clogged the AC line. ohhh you gotta love the Camry!
Well once we got to Nashville mom took at nap and I studied before we headed to Jenn's apartment.
We got to Jenn's apartment and it literally started POURING! It was a mess! But we just ate and played some drinking games and had a really good time. After a while we all headed out to the bars! Kari and Jess hosted the party and got us all a limo! it was so awesome!

SO we went to a piano bar, much like howl at the moon and then to cadillac ranch, and finished up the night at a bar called decades. All in all it was a really fun night. Jenn had a blast and completed all her "tasks".

 I'm really thankful that my mom was able to take me down there because I don't know how I would have been able to go to the party and study for my exam. So thank you mom! I was able to get a lot of studying done on the way home.

The rest of the week was quite a challenge! I don't know what it is but I feel like I constantly have a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Maybe its stress or maybe it's nerves. I'm not sure but I just am always so freaking tired and just not feeling myself. I miss having a life! I miss having time to enjoy life. While I make time to see friends and family, my mind is always somewhere else. I really miss being able to enjoy life. But I know in the end this will all be worth it!
So last week I had one big quiz and 1 exam. The quiz went well but the test not so much. I don't know what it is about this class but I just can't seem to pass her exams. I mean I still have a good grade in the class overall but the exams are just extremely challenging for me. So the exam that I was so worried about and didn't go well. I mean part of it could have been that I had to work the day before the exam because of clinicals and the fact that I needed friday off for Jenn's rehearsal but still I wish I could have done better. But I just have to focus on the fact that my grade overall is good. So I think that this whole school thing is just wearing on me, I miss having a life. But 13 months from now and I will! :)