Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Forward vs Rear facing

Anyone who tells you that being a parent is easy is nuts. While I don't find Lincoln to be particularly challenging or anything, it's trying to stay up on all the rules and regulations and trying to find how those fit into my gut instincts and desires for my child that is challenging.

There are so many things that are recommendations and rules and they change a lot so it's hard to wrap your head around everything. I mean it's everything from when to feed your kids certain foods, to how they should sleep, where they should sleep, and one that has my conscious right now...the rear or forward facing debate.

As infants you are supposed to rear face the infant. This is to protect them in the chance of an accident. Their little bodies can't quite handle the impact of a crash and rear facing and how the straps have them buckled in is supposed to help minimize the damage that could occur.

The old recommendation was to keep them rear facing until age 1, then they felt that their bodies were developed enough to keep them safe forward facing. However a few years ago they changed this recommendation to age 2.

Well I have a hard time with some recommendations (vaccines) and others make a lot of sense to me, this rear facing thing made a lot of sense. Due to babies cartilage bones and things and the way the straps and stuff are it just made sense.

However when we changed Lincoln from his pumpkin seat to his convertible carseat which was like twice the size of his pumpkin seat it became harder for my dad to put his carseat in his truck. Which Lincoln is in the front seat since he can turn off the airbags. Dad couldn't see out his window, or his rearview mirrors. At first he just took my car a lot which was fine. But then as the weather got nicer he had to haul a lot of things from windows, to siding to fences to you name it and a truck was just a better idea than my small SUV.

So being that my dad is my primary caregiver for Lincoln when Adam and I are away and his rebel nature he put him forward facing without asking me...don't even get me started on that...I happened to notice that 1. Lincoln no longer liked to be put in his carseat 2. I saw his carseat forward facing one morning. Adam and I had to have a discussion on what to do.

Adam felt Lincoln was too big (long) to be rear facing, while I felt he was still too young to forward face. This is what he looked like while rear facing...

his legs are slightly crunched...

because with rear facing they recline a little, it was easier for him to sleep
Well in the end we compromised that once Lincoln would turn 18 months we would turn him around to forward facing. And really the compromise came from the fact that Adam, my mom, my dad and even my sister all had opinions that were different from mine and they guilted me into it. They would make fun of me and call me over protective and blah blah blah. It sort of makes me want to cry now.

But as of Easter weekend he has been forward facing. The reason I'm writing this so long after that (nearly a month) is that it still has me feeling guilty. I'm a little upset at myself for letting them bully me in a way into doing something I didn't really want to do. But also felt trapped. I know my dad and I love him to death but he is stubborn and I knew he would do what he wanted which was face him forward whether I wanted him to or not. So I felt that in order to do what was best for Lincoln I needed to prep his carseat to do so. (I had to change the position of the straps as well as sit the seat more upright). 

Here is what he looks like now....

still able to sleep...

obviously much happier!

this is what I didn't like...that can't be comfortable
In the end I just have to get over my guilt and know I did my best for my kid. Ultimately he is safe in either direction and if it makes it easier on everyone who cares for him (especially my mom since her teeny tiny car barely fits his carseat anyway) I know we made the right decision.  Just still gets at my mommy guilt from time to time. :(

1 comment:

  1. We are going through the same thing. Steve has been bugging me for a few months to turn Hudson's carseat around and I have been putting it off. Hud is so uncomfortable rear facing and it would make it so much easier to see him and get to him if he were forward.... ugh I feel ya!