Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Trying to get better...

I hate forgetting things. I always want to remember everything. Every little detail. One of the reasons I started this blog so many years ago as a way to remember. I wanted a way to remember everything I was going through when I started nursing school. I didn't want to forget what I went through, all the different experiences I had or people I met etc.

I was even more compelled to write everything down when i became pregnant. I wanted to remember every detail of my pregnancy and every experience. This is why I wrote a post for every week because every week something changed and I wanted to remember each and every thing. 

When Lincoln was born I wanted to keep that up and write every little detail he went through, every experience he had I wanted to write about it so I could remember. I obviously fell really short of this and I think this has to do with the fact that I am unfortunately a working mama. 

I started my job that I worked so hard for back in December. I finally was a Registered Nurse. I was extremely happy about this, I had put a lot of blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights, and exhaustion into accomplishing this. I chose to become a nurse because my ultimate goal was to be a mom, and be a mom who was present and didn't work all the time who was able to spend a majority of my time at home with my children. 

I work nights, which at first I thought was perfect, because I would work when my baby would sleep. I even planned my schedule so I wouldn't work more than 2 nights in a row so I only slept 1 full day so I really didn't feel like I was missing out on a whole lot. The only real down fall to this schedule is that when  you work nights, you really loose a day because we have to sleep sometime. And it doesn't matter if I get 8 hours of sleep during the day, I still don't feel as rested as I would if I got 3 hours at night. So consequently I'm constantly tired. Pretty big downfall. 

Lincoln is just now getting to the age where he actually naps a couple of times a day. He is a pretty good sleeper at night, usually around 11-14 hours, depending on how he napped during the day, which is great for everyone who watches him at night, but until recently he wasn't real good at napping. he may nap for 30 minutes a couple times a day and then there were days he wouldn't nap at all. Which made for one tired mama. 

Now that he is napping a little better (roughly 2-3 hours at time a couple times a day), I can nap when he naps or actually get my house cleaned during that time. Which makes for one less tired mama. 

I am hoping that with all of this I will get better at writing down the things that we are going through. As we approach Lincoln's first birthday I sit back and realize how much he has truly changed over the last year, how much he has accomplished and how much he has enriched our lives. I want to remember these feelings and the things that he is going through so that one day I can share these with him when he blesses me with grandchildren. :)

In trying to keep with this, I've already started writing his 11 month post, so maybe this time it won't be a month late ;)

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